2003-11-06 - 1:30 p.m.
i'd like to give a shout-out to my new fave tv show: average joe. last night, i watched the episode that my sister taped for me and i have to say, i was riveted. what a great idea. get a really "hot" chick (she looks like carmen electra) and trick her into thinking she is gonna meet the "hot" man of her dreams. have a "hot" (read: european-looking) guy pull up in a limo and get her hopes up and then have him tell her that "[he's] sorry but [he's] not in the contest, but there are 16 other 'great' guys who can't wait to meet her!" then have the sweet sixteen pull up in a party bus. be sure to keep cutting to her to get her reaction when all the stereotypes file out of the bus. there are nerdy guys, big guys, tall guys, guys with buckteeth and glasses, foreign (indian and asian) guys, short guys, possibly gay guys, clumsy guys...you name it. catch her horrified looks when all the guys fumble telling her their names and go in for hugs and end up grazing her breasts with their hands when they trip.
seriously though, i'm totally watching this show. it's the first reality show i've ever watched where i actually feel bad for the participants. one of the first guys to get kicked off (wally, sorry buddy) said this: "i just want to meet someone to love me; i'm really lonely." it's more than pitiful.
what i learned watching the first episode? ALWAYS clamor for a hot chick's attention. fumble all over her. pull her away from conversations with other guys so that she KNOWS you worship her, or she will kick your ass off so fast your head will spin. DO NOT ask her to kiss you in the photo booth or she will kick your ass off so fast your head will spin. DO NOT give her freshly picked flowers and be subdued and sweet or she will kick your ass off so fast your head will spin. DO ask her inane questions like "do you like broccoli?" and she will keep you on board. DO tell her that your "mother raised you right" and she will keep you on board. DO all the other contestants laundry for them and they will talk you up to her and tell her you're the greatest guy ever despite the fact that you look like louis in "revenge of the nerds". DO tell her she's pretty, forget your name and where you're from, and be so mesmerized by her that you can only gape openmouthed and she will be so flattered that she won't kick your ass off the show in the most painful ceremony ever.
i'm hooked. what's to come? i'm hoping for awkward hookups, followed by confessionals not unlike the scene in "can't buy me love" where ronald miller admits that he's seventeen and has never gotten any "tit" (do keep in mind that these men are all over the age of 21). i'm hoping for tearful conversations home to mom and dad (aka their roommates), telling them they miss them and will "make them proud". i'm hoping the mean guy (who would be considered attractive by any girl who hangs out at "the rack") gets kicked off for slamming an egg into the computer geek's (read: possible millionaire) head in the first episode. i'm hoping the little shy guy with glasses (which one?) gets some. i'm hoping that some of the guys who don't drink get wasted in a "very special episode". and last but certainly not least, i'm hoping that they don't bring on a slew of "hot" guys so that these average joes get the boot.
it's a crazy experiment, but one i'm willing to get behind. can a babe truly fall for a geek (truth be told, there are at least three guys who could be considered "cute", like that tall one)? or are hot chicks evil and cruel? to find out, join me monday night at 10pm for what is proving to be a unique reality show.
